Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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