whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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