You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
