wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
