WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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