Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
