I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
