There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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