If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
