exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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