I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize