i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
