why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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