Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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