If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
