No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
