i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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