so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
