If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
