how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You dont lie about slip and slides
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
