we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
