It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
