Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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