Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize