The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
