im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
