I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize