her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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