I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
