Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
