I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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