Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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