I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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