why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
