But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
