What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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