He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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