i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
