So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
