Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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