32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
