Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
