Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
