Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
