pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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