I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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