She said her name was "party"
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My life is pants optional.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
