Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
