in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
