God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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