He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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