I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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