So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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